


Custody of the Kids.

by NikkiJustTalk



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Custody, Divorce, F/M, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-29
Updated: 2012-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-10 23:45:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikkiJustTalk/pseuds/NikkiJustTalk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit haitus fluff on custody of the kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Custody of the Kids.

Morgana was here. Again. Leon had brought her round earlier this morning before the morning run and had unfortunately forgotten to take her home again. 

'Arthur...' 

'Yes?'

'You know you and Merlin?'

'Nope.'

'Yes you do.'

'Who are we again?'

'Arthur!'

'Present.'

'I was just going to...Actually, never mind.' 

'What?'

'Nothing!'

'Morgana, you're smirking...'

'No I'm not.'

'Yes you are! What was it?'

'Well, if you really wanted to know...I was just going to ask which one you were in the relationship; the man or the woman...'

'I'm the man. Obviously.' 

'Well, I can see why you'd think that, but to be honest, I think it might be Merlin.'

'In what world could it possibly be Merlin?'

'How long does Merlin spend on his hair in the morning?' 

'Err...'

'And how long do you spend?' 

'And how is this relevant?'

'I'm just saying, women care about their appearance, you care about yours, so clearly, you're the woman.'

'But that Merlin's the man.'

'Well observed.'

'But...'

At this point, Merlin ambled in, clearly having just woken up, and stuck a piece of bread in the toaster. When he glanced round and saw Arthur leaning again the counter, he beamed sleepily at him before trotting over to give him a kiss on the nose, saying 'You look pretty today' and yawning.  
Morgana cackled behind him. 

'Well, thank you for that Merlin, for proving my point.' 

Merlin frowned at him, puzzled. Then he shook his head to clear it, and reached up to grab a plate. 

'Arthur?'

'Yes Merlin?'

'Can I have Lance?' 

Arthur glanced round at Morgana who grinned at him, bemused. 

'Have Lance for what? A pet?'

'No, I don't think we'd get a cage big enough.' 

Morgana's shoulders started to shake behind him. Merlin was talking so thoughtfully.

'Well then why would you want him?' 

'Well, if you and I get soul-divorced, then can I have Lance and Gwen?'

'They're not our children, Merlin...'

'Yes they are. Now, look, I figured it out. I get Lance and Gwen, and you can have Leon and Morgana...'

He looked up at Morgana then and added sheepishly; 'Only if she wants to of course...'  
She snorted. 

'Well, what if I want Lance and Gwen, after all, I did know them first.'

Merlin paused, then shouted 'Lance!' 

The soldier obediently trotted in, leaning on the door frame. 'Yeah?'

'Pick one, me or Arthur...' 

'You'. He didn't even take time to think!

'What?!' 

'Sorry, Arthur, but Merlin has his mum's fudge, and you know...'

'Well...I've got my father's...'

Three pairs of eyes turned on him disbelievingly.

'Actually, I don't think my father even knows what fudge is. Fine, you get Lance, I'll take Leon.'

'Good. Now can I have Gwai...'

'No.'

'Oh come on, Arthur, I wouldn't do anything!'

'No.'

'Why not?'

'Because.'

'Because?'

'Because no.'

'Fine, then I'll have Percival.'

'No, because you know that wherever Percy goes, Gwaine goes so he'll immediately defer to you.'

'You don't even like Gwaine!'

'I do. When he's not hitting on you.'

'Eurgh, fine, how about Geriant and Galahad? We might as well do them in pairs, it seems cruel to split them up.' 

'Them you can have.'

'But not Gwaine and Percy?'

'No.'

'Hmpf. Can I have Kay then? Ooh, no wait, I'll take Kay and you can have Bohrs!'

'Do I have to?'

'Yes, he hates me.'

'He does not hate you, he just...'

'...hates me. So that's why you should take him. He probably hates you too, but he'll never tell you because you're the Captain.' 

'Cheers. I'll have Lamorak, too.'

'Ok, I'll take Owain, he owes me after helping him out with his Hand in a Box conundrum'

'Shouldn't they get a say in this?' 

Merlin and Arthur both glanced to Lance in the doorway, and chorused 'No.' 

'But...'

'Hmm, ok so Lance, if you and Gwen got divorced...'

'Not gonna happen, Merlin.'

'Just saying 'if', would you want me, Arthur, or me and Arthur?'

'I wouldn't want any of you wankers, I'd want Gwen.'

And then he walked out of the room.

'Why didn't we think of that?'

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

'I wonder...'

'Please don't soul divorce me!'

'I wasn't planning on!'

'Good, I think Will would kill you.'

'I think I'd kill me!'

'Good.' Merlin beamed at him again, before throwing his arms around his neck and drawing him into a long, endless kiss.

There was a cough from behind them. 

'Have you two actually forgotten I'm here?!'

Fin.


End file.
